When I'm 64
by pinkswallowsun
Summary: Oneshot request from Lizziginne, and birthday present. A day in the lives of Harry and Nikki as retired OAPS.


**This is for Lizziginne, who requested a oneshot of Harry and Nikki when they retire. It's also her birthday tomorrow, so I thought I'd get it up tonight, so it'll be ready and waiting for tomorrow :) Happy Birthday Lizzi!**

**It's just a bit of fun really; I had a bit of a dilemma deciding how to write Harry and Nikki as OAPs, but in the end I decided they were never exactly going to be stereotypical 60 year olds. So I've tried to write them as older without removing the nature of their personality and relationship, if that makes sense. So as ever, reviews would be much appreciated to let me know how I got on :) **

**There should be another couple of chapters of Lifelines in London coming tomorrow too, to those of you reading that. **

**Love Florencia xxx**

**When I'm 64**

_**When I get older losing my hair,**_

_**Many years from now,**_

_**Will you still be sending me a Valentine?**_

_**Birthday greetings bottle of wine?**_

_**If I'd been out till quarter to three**_

_**Would you lock the door?**_

_**Will you still need me, will you still feed me,**_

_**When I'm sixty-four?**_

_**When I'm 64, the Beetles**_

**Harry's Diary**

**Friday 19****th**** May 2038**

**-10.21am**

Ah, love lying in on weekdays. Is perfect reminder of fact that never, ever have to go into work again as long as live. Heaven. No more early mornings, no more insufferable DCIs, no more night calls, no more court hearings… is complete and utter bliss. Can't think why didn't get act together and retire sooner. No actually, scrap that, most definitely can. Is because have wife and daughter with expensive taste to support, plus have been known to make numerous trips to South Africa per year. Why did nobody warn me that families drain so much hard-earned money?

No, this is definitely exactly what retirement is all about: lazing around in bed on a weekday morning with most beautiful woman in entire world asleep in arms. Looks so peaceful when asleep, almost don't want to wake her. Reminds me of when we were still just best friends and she would fall asleep across lap on sofa on Friday film nights; always looked so content that felt guilty about having to wake her and untangle self in order to head to bed. Coming to think of it, she doesn't appear to have aged in the slightest since those Friday nights 30 years ago. Is like real-life female Captain Jack Harkness à la Torchwood. So not fair. On other hand, at least get to watch her sleeping. Could watch her sleeping for whole week non-stop and never get bored. Or possibly whole month.

**-10.53am**

As peaceful as wife looks, am getting hungry now.

"Nikki? Nikki?"

Ah, is stirring. God, will never get used to how beautiful she is when half-awake.

"Hmm?" is rolling over in arms and rubbing eyes simultaneously. Has very bony ribs. And elbows. "Morning. What time is it?"

"Almost 11. Breakfast? Come on Niks, I'm starving."

Is rolling eyes at me now. "Harry, it's far too late for breakfast now. It's going to be lunchtime in an hour or so, can't you just wait until then?"

Shock horror. How on earth can she expect grown man to go whole hour and little bit without meal, when am hungry NOW? "You wouldn't be suggesting we skip breakfast, would you, Dr Alexander? I'll have you know that breakfast is the most important meal of the day!"

"Yes Harry, but only if you're awake in time to eat it! If I eat breakfast now then I'm not going to want any lunch, and given a choice between breakfast cereal and smoked salmon sandwiches, I'd go with the sandwiches any day!"

Don't think wife and I are quite on same wave length on this one.

"Oh Nikki, come on! I'm staaaaaaarving!"

Is giving withering look.

"No. You can drag yourself out of bed and all the way downstairs to the kitchen if you must, but I for one am perfectly content here." Is now curling up back under covers, eyes closed. Damn. As much as want pancakes, like idea of snuggling with Nikki much, much better.

"Fine. But we're getting up in half an hour for brunch, like it or not. Staying in bed past midday is just shameful for anyone over the age of 21."

"Don't care. Harry, it's our first week of freedom from work, it's not like we have anything better to do than sleep."

Hmm, if she really is going to make me stay in bed for extra half-hour, can certainly think of something much more exciting to do together...

"Ah, now that's where you're wrong, Dr Alexander. You see, there is something better we could be doing with our time, something which doesn't even involve getting out of bed."

**-11.46am**

Love the fact that still have active and frequent sex life aged 64. Read in one of daughter's trashy magazines other day that definition of being old is when you've had sex for the last time, but you just don't know it yet. Hope is true; must mean Nikki and I are actually 24ish at heart. Always knew daughters were useful for something.

**-1.12pm**

Finally having first meal of day. Is bloody joke, is wonder haven't collapsed thanks to impossibly low blood sugar levels by now.

"Niks?"

"Yes?"

"We're out of peanut butter."

"Add it to the shopping list, then."

Ugh. Effort. "Why bother with that when I can just tell you?"

"Because not even an elephant could remember all the food items this house runs out of on a weekly basis. If you want more peanut butter, add it to the shopping list."

Hmm. Can't seem to find shopping list; lives under rhino magnet on fridge door as general rule, but fridge seems to have been taken over by army of brightly coloured postits. Multiple layers of them, in fact, is probably archaeologist's idea of heaven in sticky paper form. When did we start to write down every little thing we had to do to stop ourselves forgetting? Must be sign of getting old.

"Nikki, do we really still need _all_ these postits? I'm beginning to forget what colour the fridge door actually is!"

Is sighing now. "They're all important reminders, Harry. I know what will happen: I'll let you take down the postits, and the next day we'll forget a dentist appointment or put the rubbish bin out on a recycling week. The postits are a necessity."

She's not backing down. Better start excavating the site comme Indiana Jones to prove point and banish postits to museum.

**-1.15pm**

Yes! Have evidence that postits are years out of date.

"This one isn't. 'Joycelin's parents' evening, 4.10pm.' We'll have to complain to Leo; I don't remember having a single parents' evening during my time as a qualified doctor, do you? I'm not happy about that, I tell you; if only my lack of concentration on my PM reports had been reported to my mother, I would have been a professor at Oxford years ago!"

Is in hysterics now; surprisingly easy to send her into fit of laughter.

"God, is it really that long since we had to sit through crusty old teachers telling us that Josi had the vocabulary of a 92 year old sadistic pathologist, aged 10? OK, OK, so maybe some of them are a little out of date…"

"A little? Is that what you call this one: 'Find holiday home for hamster.' When was the last time we even had a hamster? Ohhh, look, look at this one underneath it… 'bury hamster.' The poor thing's a goner, but never mind, its spirit lives on through our daughter's makeshift tombstone in the garden and a couple of decade-old postits on the Cunningham family fridge!"

Laughing so hard is crying now; priceless.

"OK, some _most_ of them are completely out of date. But it's nice to still have them there, it's like a sort of…"

"Private on-fridge-door museum?"

Is thinking now, can tell by way forehead is creasing. "Yep, I think that sums it up quite well. Now come on, lunch. You're the one who's been complaining you're hungry every 5 minutes!"

Sometimes think Nikki should have been school teacher rather than pathologist. Is certainly bossy enough.

**-1.28pm**

Ah, heaven. Am sat spread out across trampoline in garden on Friday afternoon with peanut butter sandwich and beautiful wife, cloud gazing. Very glad managed to persuade Niks to keep trampoline after daughter moved out, knew it would be useful one day. Who needs sun loungers when you can have trampoline? Is much bigger so can take multiple people at a time, nice and comfy without having to remember to put cushion on it, plus can bounce on it when get bored. Perfect.

**-1.29pm**

Better stop now, sound like walking adverts for trampolines. Not good look. Am very comfy though. Could almost go to sleep…

**-1.32pm**

"Harry! Harry, you're not asleep, are you? Harry, look!"

There goes afternoon nap.

"Niks, what is it? I'm trying to sleep here!"

"Harry, it's half past one in the afternoon! Only old people take naps at 1.30 in the afternoon!"

"But we _are_ old now Niks, remember? As of last week we're OAPs and sentenced to a life of afternoon naps, bingo, bowls and knitting jumpers."

"Knitting jumpers?" Looks rather offended. "If you think I'm going to spend the next 20 years sitting in front of the fire knitting jumpers like some kind of clichéd old woman Harry Cunningham, then you've got another thing coming!"

"Thank god for that! I was wondering how to break it to you that grandpa jumpers aren't really my style."

"Harry, you've worn grandpa jumpers the entire time I've known you, the only difference is that you buy them from Marks and Spencers!"

Hmph. "Hey, leave my jumpers out of this!" Fashion has never exactly been strong point of mine, unlike Miss Clothes-Obsessed lying next to me on trampoline.

"So what was it you wanted to show me anyway?"

"Well you've missed it now! There was a red admiral on the rose bush over there, but it's gone now."

"You woke me up for a butterfly?" Will never understand Nikki's obsession with butterflies. She calls it 'fascination', I call it 'obsession'. Is not like she hasn't shown me a thousand other red admirals before, in garden, through former office window, in park, at butterfly sanctuary which she and daughter drag daughter's boyfriend and me to at least once a month… definitely has obsession.

"Butterflies are beautiful, I'll have you know. I could spend all day watching butterflies, quite happily." Looks incredibly peaceful; far too peaceful. Time for some fun.

"I know you could. And you know what I could spend all day doing?"

Looks confused now. "What?"

**-1.42pm**

Whoop whoop, had forgotten how much fun this was. Am bouncing up and down on trampoline like excited child, laughing at Nikki still lying across trampoline bed, trying to stand up.

"Harry!"

"Fine, fine." Am holding out hand to her, pulling her to her feet, before starting bouncing again. Judging by look on wife's face, even she thinks is more fun than butterfly spotting (even if only ever-so-slightly). Haven't had this much fun on a Friday afternoon in years, bring on old age. Whoever said life begins at 40 doesn't know what they're talking about, life so begins at 64.


End file.
